I didn’t read any books and given up master degree test When I started to work for Andre as his assistant. I have to say I’ve got many experience for Landscape Architecture, but it’s far from my goal. Working for NGO is not a professional studio for design. Maybe I need leave here. I can’t enjoy the so called “comfortable living style” . I wanna go to Shang Hai. I wish I can find my dream at there. Shang Hai remind my initial dream when I was a high-school student. Several years past. Eventually, I have been the opposite way….What I should do and how to do? Who can point the correct way for me?

Help…………………..

Tonight,I sit the dark loft alone.I'v give up post graduate test really! I know it is impossible to pass it at this year.I hate the politics that in ang examination in China.Why we have to study politics in any major?No reason. I think art is free .

My leader thought I'm a smart guy and I can be a excellent designer in furture. But I am worry about it.I'm not so young now. I have to support my life and saving money a lot of money for furture study.I wish I can finishing my dream that study Landscape out of China when I am 24.There are only less than 2 years.I miss my college time but I know I've bright  furture.

All of you will marry with them,"Congradulations"

Yes!"Congradulations" Care yourself! Byebye!

Yesterday! A friend asked me give some ideals to him for his new studio at so called "time square" At Wen Chuan . I feel so surprised about he will open a inderior design studio. The first he isn't major in design. Second, he is not rich man . But he told me that  he have hired a storefront around the street.

Suddenly! I have to say I admire his courage. Some friends told me that you can start a design studio and your drawings good enough.But I am still worry about it. I think I am so young to be a boss. I am not so rich, so I haven't any more fund and the important is I am not design well.etc. But now  they did it. Because they are dares any difficulty. They are hopeful to see bright furture life.

But I lose my way .............

Why do you wanna go to post graduate study now.For what?and one ridiculous decision is go to Chong Qing.Just for a unworthy love story before.But now, we were broken (maybe we never started)I can not found any more reason go to there .And now I real wanna find a landscape of inderior desogn job at a foreign design studio in Shang Hai or Peiking . But until now I never be there . I told so many friends fo r my new decision. Actually, I give up my goals and get new goals always . I feel I was unstable man ``` 

A tibetan monk come to my dinner table and beggaring for reconstructe thier old temple when I have breakfast at a dumpling canteen. I eat food and watch my nootbook while he show the pictures of his temple to me.But I don't know if he is a real monk or not. I don't wanna be cheat by swindlers . So I didn't reply to him when he went out of the door. He stared at me and take a look at nootbook ."You are a good boy,Look! you eating reading and enjoy the sunshine. Your three points have been opened and then he left a warm smile go to his beggar way.

Today all workers of Wen Chuan Red Cross inspire citizens devote their whip-round for all survivals the horrible typhoon at Civic Square. I am been a volunteer for help workers. It's really moved me when I saw so many people  donate thier love at Red Box! There are alwyas have some scenes touch me. A disability wrinkly took 200 yuans from his pocket put it to box and told me that they have help me , whatever I need do something for them, although 200 yuans is not much money. But I wanna they can reconstructing thier house ASAP as us.I forget say Thanks to him when he leaved. Maybe he need thanks. He noticed we are household with Taiwan brethrens. I stare at he disapeer in my eyes and tear running at eye socket.

This is a common case at so many place . But this is my first time fell it .

I know my current job it isn't relate with my major, but working at Wen Chuan is a special experience really ! So whatever I will persevere at 1 year ! And I've try my best to finish my work and prepare graduate study and then go to Pei King for design study !

Chat with a mate who are my best friend when we were high-school student at last afternoon.We were met at 4 years ago at the last time.Someone tell me that he is going to London. I feel special curiously how he gets such opportunity? So I go on chat with him what he done recently.

"I working at a International Company of Jiang Xi Provine at Nan Chang" he added " I will go to England next month,maybe twice a year, there are a lot of projects cooperate foreign firm closely, I do not design job for a long time , you don't know that my current job gets hard way, my family have asked Nan Chang's mayor for sing in this company, of course my yeraly salary only 100,000 yuan".

Suddenly, I was ashemed of my situation," waht are you doing John?" you are work hard, get a little bit repay for you have done( I am sure is not related with money,but I contrast with him . I don't know how to answer the question ' how are u at Wen Chuan'? Maybe silence is the best answer. I can understand why I lose my lover . Sometimes money is god, sometimes is shit(Just because I can not get any more now)

But whatever , I know what I should do. As Fiona writted at <Detail im contemporary Landscape Architecture> She sent to me when she left China:"Dear 万甜，Believe in yourself and so for your dream(and dream big)"!

Thanks for the phrase,Work and study hard for dream for ever. Don't be influence from the complex outside world!

You know when you're young,everthing feels like the end of the world. It's not, It's just the begining.You might have to meet a few jerks,but one day you're going to meet someone who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you.If I love u , I should let you move on.I wish I could finishall the things I started.

I decided that give up ! Don't wanna be the third party ! I feel really disgusting.Bye bye !  What a specail case it is !

 

Get up 6:30 am.

Read  7 am .

Go to Bu Lan Village(altitude of more than 2 kilometers) at 8:30 am

Back Wen Chuan at 12:40

Have Lunch at 1:00 pm

Meeting at 1:30 to 2:40 pm

Work at office 3:00 to 4:00

I love u but u looooooove him. You cann't imagine  how much I love u. I can do anything for u . But you told me . U will marry with him. whatever I wish you are happy everyday. To Xiao Xiao Hu

Tomorrow is traditional Chinese Dragon Festival .I didn't stay with my family at the important festival . At the old saying We wer especial missing our home during this time . Tomorrow I will stay at my rent roof alone. Lonely  last lonely `````` 

From June to now.I didn't updated the space.Not only because I was busying with job , also there aren't something to alarming me. I know what I must to do when I havd written "Presume upon myself". Yes, I did what I said . Do a hard but helpful job at summer 、Passed english test and got the top-grade scholarship.Just because I know I can changing the worse situation by myself. Of course , I accept that I am a little bit lucky .

I will ending my campus life the semester. I am going to Shang Hai for job hunting .As you know there are a lot of opportunities waiting for me .May be we even cann't afford our flat fee when we work at there, but we never worried about it . Whatever where we are liveing and what we are eating .It doesn't matter at all. We can facing all frustrations .

Yes! We are man ! we have nothing , so we don't care about  loss anything .Nothing can influence us to accomplishing our dream . Yes For our dream ! Yes We can !

I'm not a child.I can decide something.And noticed my poor family is hard to afford my post graduate tuition.I don't want to depend on any family lationship for my future job.Whatever , I have the responsibility to released my parents burden.

I must make a choice between study or work,now. No one can give me a hand.Please believe yourself,You can!

I nfact, it's so far away from my dream.But I know I can struggling to change the situation.

I will be walking alone in a strong way .I'm never afraid!

Friend's can console you when you were sad!

They couldn't told you how to do!

Disaster not only bring grief to us, also it as a teacher.She told us that we should cherish life and study how to extend our love into a spirit,it dares any possible difficulties.Before the earthquake, I thought our younrger generation is live in a peace of life .But after the 3 mimutes of mourning. 13 billion's Chinese know real meaing of love and they will hold together to rebuild our home.Of course , the case have changed many foreign countries's attitude to China.

Thnaks! Peru ，Bangladesh，Palestine PS  ，Italy,  German, Japan ,United State```and so on `````The disaster hold more countries in the world.

30-year-old man get married and start a career.30-year-old university taught countless 30-year-old men for China.
Our university established in 1978.It was passed thirty yeras.Although 30s years is not a long time to  a university,30s years was able to brought up a infant to manhood.The university just as a baby.Nowadays ,she got  a great achievement during the time.
Obviously, Le Shan normal  university developed rapidaly.One year - One face.I remember that the campus is so small and in chaos(8 students be packed with a dirty dormintory,only a 18 inch's tevelsion be supported,Dark library.The lower speed of network```etc.)when I got into here at first time 3 years ago.Needless to say any more,you can see the wonderful performance was represented all successful.
Colourful light .Elegant dancing. Touching song .you have to say "Cool".
The cheers of the crowd could told us everything .She could throughgoing change the status in thousands  university in China one day.
We should be proud of here.
Of course,we looking forward to become  star to light the shy. 

"Young is capital"I think is right.We have many years to struggle,Because we are young.Many years later,I will regret that I havev't take GRE.I'm not a statement.So I was worried about my choices.As you say"Just one time,never a next door is waiting for you"I was so worried about that I should how to dealt with the relationship between major and GRE, but now ,I know waht I'm doing.Only pay all power for your yound DREAM at the age.

Okey! Just do it .Don't want to be announcing the resolutions to everybody.Give a head on blow to thwm.And let they know "John is difference".

I have choiced living alone .It's great for me.I need to practice life experience.Although now I'm 21.I depend on parents and friends,always.

So they were saw me as a child until now.I must to be  independent.And try to study how to contral study & play time.I don't like play games online.

but sometimes I don't know what was I do.Maybe is wasting time.

My room is really comfortable.I could hear touching tweedle made by a kide of ancient Chinese music instrument.The song told me that here is quiet,

here is belong to who(only me).How many people can find a place like here?

So I'm king of the room...

I was feel so lonely when I just came here,but now I'm get used to ir.Nobady is lonely if he have something need to do.

Books and pen/pencil around me .

If I feel hungry at night I can buy a fast noodles and sausage ````

I can drawing as I like !!!!

I like here!
Thanks for mother's support!
I coundn't let you are disappoint!

Hold on John!

```````````````You are `````!!!!Great !!!!!

Thanks for your teach!

Swindler!!!!!!

                                   03/09/2008