⌒ John waN ■

I didn’t read any books and given up master degree test When I started to work for Andre as his assistant. I have to say I’ve got many experience for Landscape Architecture, but it’s far from my goal. Working for NGO is not a professional studio for design. Maybe I need leave here. I can’t enjoy the so called “comfortable living style” . I wanna go to Shang Hai. I wish I can find my dream at there. Shang Hai remind my initial dream when I was a high-school student. Several years past. Eventually, I have been the opposite way….What I should do and how to do? Who can point the correct way for me?

Help…………………..

Tonight,I sit the dark loft alone.I'v give up post graduate test really! I know it is impossible to pass it at this year.I hate the politics that in ang examination in China.Why we have to study politics in any major?No reason. I think art is free .

My leader thought I'm a smart guy and I can be a excellent designer in furture. But I am worry about it.I'm not so young now. I have to support my life and saving money a lot of money for furture study.I wish I can finishing my dream that study Landscape out of China when I am 24.There are only less than 2 years.I miss my college time but I know I've bright  furture.

All of you will marry with them,"Congradulations"

Yes!"Congradulations" Care yourself! Byebye!

Yesterday! A friend asked me give some ideals to him for his new studio at so called "time square" At Wen Chuan . I feel so surprised about he will open a inderior design studio. The first he isn't major in design. Second, he is not rich man . But he told me that  he have hired a storefront around the street.

Suddenly! I have to say I admire his courage. Some friends told me that you can start a design studio and your drawings good enough.But I am still worry about it. I think I am so young to be a boss. I am not so rich, so I haven't any more fund and the important is I am not design well.etc. But now  they did it. Because they are dares any difficulty. They are hopeful to see bright furture life.

But I lose my way .............

Why do you wanna go to post graduate study now.For what?and one ridiculous decision is go to Chong Qing.Just for a unworthy love story before.But now, we were broken (maybe we never started)I can not found any more reason go to there .And now I real wanna find a landscape of inderior desogn job at a foreign design studio in Shang Hai or Peiking . But until now I never be there . I told so many friends fo r my new decision. Actually, I give up my goals and get new goals always . I feel I was unstable man ``` 

A tibetan monk come to my dinner table and beggaring for reconstructe thier old temple when I have breakfast at a dumpling canteen. I eat food and watch my nootbook while he show the pictures of his temple to me.But I don't know if he is a real monk or not. I don't wanna be cheat by swindlers . So I didn't reply to him when he went out of the door. He stared at me and take a look at nootbook ."You are a good boy,Look! you eating reading and enjoy the sunshine. Your three points have been opened and then he left a warm smile go to his beggar way.